by Javier | Dec 14, 2015 | Study Motivion
A good homework routine – Stage 4: make improvement and reward them
After a few weeks of coaching kids through homework routine, you will notice the effect. They’ll take on the routine happily and love the play time they have. You will be calmer and have time for other things as well.
It is important you continuously monitor how the process is working. This is a vital part of kid coaching. Maybe you find out that they need a bit of support ahead of an assessment or spelling test. Perhaps, they need to write their questions so they don’t forget at the end. It may also be that they need more support from their teacher.
Whatever area of improvement you are thinking about, take it through steps 1 to 3.
- Is is aligned with the main goal?
- Share it with them. Agreement is ideal but not mandatory
- Implement without exception.
It is possible that you will get a bit concerned because they are used to presenting half finished homework. This is when having the teacher on board is paramount. Talk to them and ask them to challenge and encourage your child:
- When they don’t finish the work, they should be reminding them
- If they finish with a poor standard, they should be talking to you to identify where the problem is. If it knowledge, ensure they get more support. However, if it laziness, push them.
- When they finish the work to a good standard, reward them. House points, stickers, a note in their diary or a simple high 5 will go a long way.
A good homework routine – Stage 5: be proud and enjoy it
After 4-6 weeks, the routine will be almost perfect. There will always be things to consider and small new challenges to face as you continue coaching kids. When this happens, ensure you go back to steps 1—4 and follow a similar approach. This way you will not only know the changes but complementing and improving on them.
Celebrate the work your children are doing. Ensure they are proud of their achievements and success. Let them see how much better the evenings are now.
Kid coaching requires constant reviewing with age. As they get into more challenging years (ie. entrance exams or 11+) they might need to increase the work they do. If this is the case, ensure you follow a similar approach and be very conscious on the time. It is ok to go from 45mins to 1hr or even 1hr 15min but be mindful of the amount of work they have and how long their days are. When coaching kids, you always have to find the balance.
After 3 or 4 months, when the routine is fully established, you can start thinking on what is the next area of responsibility you can give them. If the programme has worked well you will also notice them being a lot more responsible and autonomous in packing their bags, making their beds and things like that.
by Javier | Dec 14, 2015 | Study Motivion
Ok, so you had the talk. They made a fuzz about it and you carried it on. The first few days were a bit difficult, they didn’t finish. Perhaps, you might be thinking they’ll never do it. So, you start giving them more time, sitting down with them, answering questions as and when they want…. you see where I am getting to. This is a popular encounter I get during my parent coaching classes.
However, through my many years of experience as a life coach for kids, the outcome can be costly. Here are the scenerios you will likely face and some suggested replies or recommendations:
– There’s not enough time. Well, there is if they focus on the work and their teacher will know that there is. They’d do a lot more work in school on that same time
– We haven’t learnt this. Really? I doubt it but in any case, leave it blank and tell the teacher tomorrow.
– It’s too difficult. Sure, maybe it is. I think this is one of the questions you want to ask me in the end. Also, talk to the teacher tomorrow and ask her/him to explain it to you again.
– Can I ask you a question? This will happen every minute in the first few days. However, the answer should always be the same: Yes, you have a few minutes at the end to ask me.
– I need your help on this one. Apart from spelling, it is rare that they’ll really need your help. I have to reiterate this during all my parent coaching classes.
– Can you write a note to miss? Avoid this like a plague. As a life coach for kids, I know this is the oldest trick in the book to pass on the responsibility to you. If you have any concern, talk to their teacher behind your children’s back, but ensure they feel responsible for their acts at all time.
– I left my diary/homework in the school. They will have to tell their teacher tomorrow. Do not argue or get upset. It is their responsibility to bring their books back.
– Why don’t you just tell me which answer is wrong. This is part of taking ownership and pride of their work. It is also fundamental for them to learn to review their own work.
I know it sounds strict, but, it is very important to ensure full compliance in the first few weeks. Once the routine is established you’ll be able to flex it and improve it without breaking it.
It is also very important that you communicate with the teacher. Let them know what you are doing. Ask for their help in checking their homework, giving the stickers or asking them to work a bit harder. The goal is for children not to feel afraid of their work the next day. Also, It is important that they are recognised for their work—even if not completed or perfect.
If they have a play day at home, ensure their friend also does the homework with them. If they’ve been away, make sure you go back to the routine the next day.
Part of the routine is to ensure they differentiate between homework time and play time. During parent coaching lessons, I don’t fail to remind parents that when their kids finish the homework, they should be allowed to choose what to do and enjoy their time.
by Javier | Nov 30, 2015 | Study Motivion
A good homework routine – Stage 1: What are the goals?
This is one of the biggest misconceptions I have come across throughout my career as a child life coach. Because the goals are not properly set, it becomes difficult even for parents with good parenting skills to determine where their assistance should start and where they should stop. Here are the goals that should guide every homework routine.
1. The goal is not to get the homework right: the teacher needs to know what they might be struggling with
2. The goal is not to learn: that happened or will happen in school.
3. The goal is not to avoid them feeling bad about themselves for not having them right
4. The goal with this homework approach is to create independent learners that can work by themselves and have confidence in their learning abilities.
In order to achieve this we have to devolve responsibility over the homework to the children. We have to support them and encourage them and be very clear where our responsibility finishes and theirs start. This is a crucial good parenting skills that every adult with the intention of having children should aim to have.
When these goals are met, children will learn to learn by themselves, to review their answers, to ask themselves questions, to look for answers in different sources. They will also develop routines and habits that will stay with them for life.
This approach to homework is about giving our children the resources and support. As a child life coach, this is the homework routine that I promote.
by Javier | Nov 27, 2015 | Study Motivion
A good homework routine – introduction (1/6)
As a life coach for children, I talk with many children, parents and teachers every week. My observation is that the single biggest cause of disruption at home is the homework routine.
I don’t want banter on whether homework is right or wrong or if they have too much or too little. I want to talk good parenting skills that will make that time a lot more enjoyable for everybody.
But let’s start with some assumptions about homeworks;
1- Many days—if not most days—your children will have regular homework to do at home
2- Many days—if not most days—an adult sits with them when doing the work
3- Many days—if not most days—the work takes a lot longer than the normal 30mins that the school recommends
4- Many days—if not most days—the children don’t remember how to do things, lose concentration, ask the same questions repeatedly
5- Many days—if not most days—the adult suffers some level of frustration ranging from mild to severe
6- Many days—if not most days—the adult finishes the homework routine in a less happy mood
7- Many days—if not most days—the children finishes the homework routine in a less happy mood.
If you can say “yes” to at least 4 out of the 7 assumptions above, please continue reading.
I have another assumption. From my experience as a life coach for children, I know most of you reading this article will agree with everything that comes next, but most of you will not act on it because you probably lack good parenting skills. I know this! It has happened before and it will happen again. I am fine with it as it is your choice. However, let’s face it, when the children reaches secondary school, you won’t be able to help them. They’ll probably be out of your depth and the amount of work will be too much. At that time, those children will have to learn to work by themselves and, in many cases, it will take them a long time to do so.
And I have a fact for you. Those that follow these recommendations tend to answer, many days if not most days, “no” to the majority of the questions above.
Having said all that, here are the key stages to work towards
First Stage: be clear on what the goal of homework is
Second Stage: define the rules in a mature way
Third Stage: implement without exception
Fourth Stage: make improvement and reward them
Fifth Stage: be proud, enjoy it and think on the next project
From my experience through years of working as a life coach for children, if you are diligent with the approach you will see results in the first 4-6 weeks. The routine will be adopted and working very well within 3-4 months. Also, you will be growing your good parenting skills. I advice to start with this routine in year 3, but anytime is a good time. If you have children in different years, it is very much the same with some small variations.
I will publish the articles over the course of December 2016
