Ok, so you had the talk. They made a fuzz about it and you carried it on. The first few days were a bit difficult, they didn’t finish. Perhaps, you might be thinking they’ll never do it. So, you start giving them more time, sitting down with them, answering questions as and when they want…. you see where I am getting to. This is a popular encounter I get during my parent coaching classes.
However, through my many years of experience as a life coach for kids, the outcome can be costly. Here are the scenerios you will likely face and some suggested replies or recommendations:
– There’s not enough time. Well, there is if they focus on the work and their teacher will know that there is. They’d do a lot more work in school on that same time
– We haven’t learnt this. Really? I doubt it but in any case, leave it blank and tell the teacher tomorrow.
– It’s too difficult. Sure, maybe it is. I think this is one of the questions you want to ask me in the end. Also, talk to the teacher tomorrow and ask her/him to explain it to you again.
– Can I ask you a question? This will happen every minute in the first few days. However, the answer should always be the same: Yes, you have a few minutes at the end to ask me.
– I need your help on this one. Apart from spelling, it is rare that they’ll really need your help. I have to reiterate this during all my parent coaching classes.
– Can you write a note to miss? Avoid this like a plague. As a life coach for kids, I know this is the oldest trick in the book to pass on the responsibility to you. If you have any concern, talk to their teacher behind your children’s back, but ensure they feel responsible for their acts at all time.
– I left my diary/homework in the school. They will have to tell their teacher tomorrow. Do not argue or get upset. It is their responsibility to bring their books back.
– Why don’t you just tell me which answer is wrong. This is part of taking ownership and pride of their work. It is also fundamental for them to learn to review their own work.
I know it sounds strict, but, it is very important to ensure full compliance in the first few weeks. Once the routine is established you’ll be able to flex it and improve it without breaking it.
It is also very important that you communicate with the teacher. Let them know what you are doing. Ask for their help in checking their homework, giving the stickers or asking them to work a bit harder. The goal is for children not to feel afraid of their work the next day. Also, It is important that they are recognised for their work—even if not completed or perfect.
If they have a play day at home, ensure their friend also does the homework with them. If they’ve been away, make sure you go back to the routine the next day.
Part of the routine is to ensure they differentiate between homework time and play time. During parent coaching lessons, I don’t fail to remind parents that when their kids finish the homework, they should be allowed to choose what to do and enjoy their time.